A Passover Plot

Aliens from Altair Four were visiting Earth. They were very much put off by what they perceived as the senseless ravings of Atheists like Richard Dawkins, Hitchens and others, so they contrived a plot, the Atheists were castigating God for "sending people to Hell", not letting everyone go to Heaven.

They decided to hatch a plot. They picked a dozen of them, Vicious Van Black, Dawson Delusional, Itchy Hitchy and nine others. As these individuals were walking down their various streets, someone slipped up on them and dropped a metal disk in their pocket. This enabled the matter transmitter to reference them and they were instantly transported to a wonderful place. There they were greeted by a friendly being clothed in shimmering light.

"Welcome, gentlemen! How fortunate you have passed over! Make yourselves at home!"

They were ushered over to a carriage and bidden to climb in for a tour. It was a carriage such as they had never seen. It had a sleek, almost streamlined appearance with rubber tires and shock absorbers which gave it a smooth cushiony ride. It was pulled by four splendid silvery white horses. The streets were paved with translucent gold which after thousands of years of use showed not a scratch. The buildings were fashioned with precious stones and metal much more wonderful than their earthly counterparts! There was a sea of shining crystaline beauty and a river of liquid Emerald which flowed past the throne of God. The Atheists became more and more restive. Whole legions of angels stood on the ground accompanied by redeemed saints of God pealing out "Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised!" while others soared through the air caroling "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God of Hosts!" The music was sweeter than the sweetest music ever heard on Earth! The air was filled with the most delicious odors which swirled about like breaths of Springtime! The sky was full of a raging, pulsating, golden fiery glow! The distilled essence of the Glory of God!

The Atheist crew grew more and more uncomfortable till they could stand it no longer! They began to scream.

"Take it away! Take it away! We'd rather be in Hell!"

The Angel of the Shining Light appeared immediately.

"Sorry you're so uncomfortable, gentlemen. We can't send you to Hell. You'll have to do that by yourself But we can send you back to where you came from!" He snapped his fingers and it was done!

The Atheists were confronted by the Altairians: "Hope you had a good time, we certainly did! By the way, the place you actually went to was like the holodeck of the starship, Enterprise in your Science Fiction story, Star Trek. We think it's so funny that you condemn God for not sending you to a place you couldn't stand to be in!