A Poet Ponders the Isms

Relativism has little appeal,

I have so few relatives!
Libertarianism
takes too many liberties.
Solipsism
lacks mass appeal.
Liberalism
fails to liberate.
Pragmatism
is too unpragmatic!
Utilitarianism
is so inutile.
Idealism
is less than ideal.
Nominalism
fills me with nameless horror!
Existentialism
deals with the nonexistent.
Evolution is really regressive!
Scientism
so unscientific!
Communism
destroys the community!
Scholasticism,
so scholarly and educational!
Creationism, so creative!
Intelligent design,
so completely intelligent!
Capitalism
is capital!
Conservatism
so worthy of conserving!

Previously published on Associated Content.
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